


Turn and Face the Strange (ch-ch-changes)

by Teeelsie



Series: Turn 'Verse [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: But with a sliver of hope, Episode 6.11, Episode Related, Gen, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5756752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teeelsie/pseuds/Teeelsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their ill-fated 'couples' retreat', Danny takes a hard look at the situation and comes to a difficult conclusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turn and Face the Strange (ch-ch-changes)

**Author's Note:**

> This hit me like a freight train last night when I was thinking about my dissatisfaction with 6.11 and the way that things have been going the last couple of years or so, in general. I tried to shove it out of my mind because I am, quite frankly, ridiculously busy with that 30 day thing and I DO NOT have time to stop and write something else... and yet... my muse would not let me focus back on fluff until I got this out. Once again, I don't think this will be well-loved, but, much like other tough fic I've written, I just really had to get this on paper.
> 
> Unbeta'd because KippyVee is already killing herself with the 30 day thing and no way would I ask her to do more. There are likely a lot of mistakes cuz I pushed this out really fast so I could get back to what I need to be doing. Feel free to point them out.
> 
> Title comes from lyrics from David Bowie's song, "Changes".

 

 

He gave it two full weeks after they returned. Two weeks to see if anything changed. It seemed like enough time to be able to know if there would be any progress at all. There wasn’t.

 

<> 

 

“Hey, brah, what’s up?” Chin says with a smile as he clasps Danny on the shoulder and sits down in the empty chair next to him.

 

“Hey, Chin. Thanks for coming,” Danny says, trying hard to return his friend’s smile.

 

“Sure. I’m always happy to meet you for a beer,” he looks around and flags down a cocktail waitress and gives her his order. “This isn't exactly your usual hang out, though," Chin observes, taking in the general seediness of the place.

 

Danny looks around, seeming to take in his environment for the first time. “Oh, sorry ‘bout that. I just sort of… I don’t know… ended up here.”

 

Chin scrutinizes his face, his own smile slipping away. “You okay, Danny?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Or, no, maybe. I’m not really sure,” Danny furrows his brow and shakes his head minutely.

 

Chin sits up straight in his chair. “Danny, what’s going on?” his rising alarm is clear.

 

“Okay, look,” Danny says, leaning forward and then running a hand down his face before resting his elbows on the table. He looks up at his friend with clear reluctance in his eyes. “I think it’s time for me to make a change.”

 

There’s a pause. “What kind of change?” Chin asks warily.

 

Danny takes a deep breath and says the words he hoped he’d never come to say. “I think it’s time for me to leave 5-0.”

 

To his credit, Chin doesn’t react; he doesn’t act shocked; he doesn’t get animated and tell Danny, ‘no… no you can’t leave’. But then again, that’s exactly why Danny called this particular member of his team to test the waters.

 

After a moment of not-entirely uncomfortable silence, he finally asks, “Why now?”

 

Danny leans back in his chair. “I don’t know, you know. I mean, we went to that couples weekend and… I guess I was hoping things would change – even just a little bit. But they haven’t and… I don’t know… I just don’t want to do this anymore.”

 

Chin nods at Danny’s words. “It’s been hard to watch, you know?” Chin says.

 

“I’m sorry,” Danny responds, because, yeah, he knows. It’s probably been almost as hard for their teammates to watch their partnership – their relationship – implode as it has been for him and Steve to live it.

 

“Nobody wants you to leave, Danny. Least of all, Steve, you know. He’s going to take this hard.”

 

Danny gazes at an indeterminate spot over Chin’s shoulder. “I don’t know. Maybe at first, or maybe he’ll say that. But I think maybe he’ll just be relieved.” His glance slides back to Chin.

 

Chin shakes his head in disagreement. “Isn’t there anything you can do, Danny? Keep up with the counseling or something?”

 

“He doesn’t take it seriously. Last year, we were supposed to do these workbook exercises and he put up roadblocks at every turn. He scheduled that weekend a couple of weeks ago 'cause he thought he could blow it off and go golfing. Then he spent the whole time trying to figure out how to get out of everything during the day and hooking up at night with a woman he met on the plane. He didn’t do a single thing to try to help improve things between us.”

 

“Did _you?”_ Chin asks, in his no-nonsense way.

 

“Probably not as much as I could have,” he admits. “Look, you know I don’t go in for that touchy-feely crap any more than Steve,” Danny sighs. “And I guess that’s half the problem, too, isn’t it? I’m just not sure I want to try anymore.”

 

“Just the fact that you’re here talking to me about it sort of negates that, don’t you think?” Chin quirks an eyebrow at him and Danny looks away. “So, what if Steve really tried?” Chin suggests. “If you gave him a last chance to try to work things out and told him you’ll leave if he doesn’t take it seriously?”

 

“Chin, first of all, I’m not making this an ultimatum because you know as well as I do that Steve does not react well to those,” Danny points out and Chin nods grudgingly. “And second, he's been pretty frank that he doesn’t do the whole talking and feelings thing. He’s just not wired that way and I can’t force him to be.”

 

“You mind’s pretty much made up, isn’t it?”

 

“I think so,” Danny admits.

 

They both stop talking as the waitress arrives with Chin’s beer.

 

“What will you do?” Chin asks after she leaves.

 

“I’ve reached out to HPD; they’ll take me on. It won’t be the glory job that 5-0 is, but it’s stable and I can support Grace and Charlie. That’s all that really matters to me.”

 

“We’ll all miss you, brah. And I do mean _all_ of us.”

 

“And I’ll miss the hell out of working with all of you every day, but I’m sure our paths will cross now and then. And Chin, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be here and I hope we can all still be friends.”

 

“Danny, I’m slightly offended that you would even say that,” Chin says “and I suggest you don't let Kono hear you say something like that, or she’ll seriously kick your ass.”

 

Danny smiles. “Thanks, buddy,” he says, and takes a long, relieved drink of his beer.

 

<> 

 

Danny parks his car on the street out in front of the house on Pi’ikoi Street and sits there for a good ten minutes. A wave of despair washes over him; this is not something he ever wanted to have to do.  Once he joined 5-0, he thought he had found a permanent home. Sure, he and Steve could be like oil and water sometimes in terms of personality and methods, but underneath there was genuine fondness and friendship.  And sometimes he thought, maybe, something more. But somewhere along the line, their bad days slowly started to outnumber the good, until there were hardly any good days at all.

 

It’s hard for Danny to pinpoint exactly where things started to go wrong, but if he had to pick one thing, Danny would say it was when Steve brought Catherine on-board without consulting the rest of the team. Catherine was great: smart; talented; easy to get along with; an asset to any team. Danny liked and respected her.  But he couldn’t stop the small voice of resentment that took up residence in his brain, poking and complaining and putting a wedge in his partnership with Steve.

 

For the most part, they all worked together smoothly, but Danny knows that for that year that Cath was around, every time Steve went off with her instead of pulling Danny along in his wake, the hurt of it gripped him. And, yeah, he probably became a little more snarky than he had been - more acerbic; Danny thought Steve knew exactly what was bothering him, but rather than admit anything, Steve snarked right back. Things escalated from there, and despite Catherine’s departure and brief moments of unity since then, they’d never really been able to get back on track with each other.  

 

Danny sighs and pulls himself out of the Camaro, dreading what he knows he has to do. He walks around the house into the back yard, taking a chance that that’s where Steve is since he doesn’t see any lights on in the house. Sure enough, Steve is sitting in one of the chairs by the water, a beer in his hand, looking peaceful and relaxed.

 

“There was a time that I would have been sitting out here with you,” Danny comments when Steve turns his head as he approaches.

 

Steve gives him a slightly quizzical look and Danny sits down. “You are,” he points out.

 

“Yeah, but maybe before, I would’a had an invitation,” Danny says quietly, looking out at the soft waves.

 

“Have a seat,” Steve quips sarcastically and takes a sip of his beer.

 

And doesn't that just make this a whole lot easier.

 

Danny reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the folded envelope, handing it to Steve without comment.

 

Steve quirks an eyebrow up and sets down his beer so he can take the paper out and read it; there’s just enough daylight left to make out the typed words on the page.

 

Danny can’t bring himself to watch as Steve reads, but he registers Steve’s surprise in his peripheral vision.

 

“Danny, what is this?” Steve turns to look at Danny and Danny finally looks back.

 

“I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.”

 

“I don’t understand. Why…?” Steve asks, his face looking completely confused and distressed.

 

“Come on, Steve. We both know this thing isn’t working anymore. It’s time for me to go.”

 

“What do mean? What’s not working?”

 

“All of it… none of it… _Us,_ Steve. We’re not good together anymore. It’s not working. It hasn’t for a long while but neither of us wanted to admit it – or at least we didn’t want to do anything about it.”

 

“So you’re quitting?” his shock is obvious.

 

“I’m giving my notice, yes. I’ll give you two weeks if you insist, but I think it would be easier for everyone if I just go now.”

 

“You going to HPD?” there’s an accusatory tone in his voice.

 

Danny nods. “Yes. I’ve talked to them and they’ll have me back.”

 

“Great,” Steve bites out through clenched teeth, his voice tight.

 

Danny sighs. “Look, Steve. I’m not saying good-bye here…”

 

“Sure feels like it.”

 

“No. No, I’m not saying good-bye. In fact, I’m doing this so it doesn’t come to that. I value our friendship, Steve, and I _think_ you do, too…”

 

“Of course I do…” Steve snaps, angry that Danny would question that.

 

“So I think this is the best thing to do to make sure we can hang on to some piece of it.  ‘Cause this thing we’ve been doing for the last couple of years is destroying it.”

 

“What thing we’ve been doing the last couple of years?”

 

“The sniping, the bitching, the low blows.  Somewhere along the line, we went off track, and we can’t seem to get back on. I’m not blaming you – it’s my fault, too, I know that. Matty, Colombia, now Charlie,” he purposely does not mention Catherine. “I got a lot on my mind and I know I’m not the most patient guy. I know I’m at least half of the problem.”

 

“Danny, you don’t have to do this.”

 

“Come on, Steve,” Danny starts, his voice weary. “You know we’re not getting along. Jesus, it’s obvious enough to everyone that the Governor is making us go to counselling for Christ’s sake. It’s not working."  Danny steels himself and takes out the big guns.  "And eventually it’s going to not work at a critical moment and someone is going to get hurt.”

 

Steve looks startled at the last comments and stares at the ocean, seeming to consider that.  Danny knew that one would make Steve think. 

 

When he looks back at Danny, it is with woeful eyes. “Danny, we… I…”

 

Danny smiles a sad smile when Steve doesn’t finish his thought. “I know. I love you, too, babe. But see how that is there? You used to say that to me all the time, at the drop of a hat. Now you can’t get the words out.” Danny stands up. “I’m not saying good-bye. I am your friend, Steve. And I’m always here if you need me. And Grace and Charlie, too.”

 

“It feels like you’re trying to punish me.”

 

“I swear to God, that’s not what this is,” Danny answers. “I have to do this for _me_ , Steve. But I think once you have a chance to think about it, you’ll realize I’m right. Neither of us is happy, and I can’t keep doing this day in and day out – picking at you and fighting with you. I don’t wanna do that. I love you too much to keep doing that.”

 

Steve’s face hardens. “You think I don’t love you?”

 

Danny swipes his hand down his face, glances out at the ocean and then back at Steve. “No. I don’t think that. But if we keep going the way we’re going, I think someday in the not too distant future, neither of us will be able to say we do.”

 

Steve stares at him a long time without blinking, and then Danny can see the moment when Steve realizes he’s right; Steve’s body seems to shift minutely and his eyes flutter for a second.

 

Danny smiles sadly again. “Let’s… make a plan. I'll come by once a week, we'll have a beer and stare at the waves. Or you come by the house when the kids are there. They love seeing you.”

 

There’s a moment of silence before Steve answers. “Yeah, sure. That sounds good, Danno.  I'll hold you to that.”

 

There’s less sadness in Danny’s smile this time. “See you soon,” he says, then turns and leaves, walking around the side of the house the way he came.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I couldn't stop myself. Thanks for reading, though... **ducks head, sheepishly**
> 
> (I may take this up later and try to rebuild things between our boys - or not. Not sure at this point.)


End file.
